Tok Mek

Tok Mek is my grandmom from my mom’s side; my mom’s mother.

Ever since Tok Ayah (my grandpa) passed away last year in March, it seems like Tok Mek has changed alot. Some are good changes, some are not-so-good changes.

All of us in our family had never thought that Tok Ayah would go so early. Between Tok Ayah and Tok Mek, Tok Ayah seemed the one with better health condition. As a former servant in military, his health was still in perfect condition until his very last breath. One morning, on Friday, exactly one week before my Kak Ngah’s wedding, he woke up for Subuh with congested chest and passed on just like that. It was a shock to all of us, especially Tok Mek.

I still remember that day, when i reached Tok Mek’s house, she was there next to the jenazah. I ran quickly towards her and hugged her so close. She cried so hard and said, “Adik Lee…Adik Lee….Tok Ayah dah tak ada. Tok Mek tak sangka langsung….“. I cried so hard as well. Before that, believe it or not, i had never been to any funeral. I missed all my relatives’ funeral before that for some weird reasons….and also my dad’s.

It took a very very long while for Tok Mek to get over with her husband’s death. Everyone could see that she didn’t take it too well. Even during my Kak Ngah’s wedding, she wore all black and didn’t show a slightest smile. At that time, we all just let her be, since it was just a week after Tok Ayah passed away.

Now, Tok Mek has been getting better attitude wise; she looks happy and it seems like she has already adapted of living alone in such a huge house in Bentong. However, her health doesn’t seem to bdo so well. Her health collapsed since Tok Ayah’s death.

During this recent Hari Raya, she wasn’t feeling so well. On top of that, she fell in front of the bathroom which caused her leg to swell. She couldn’t walk at all…

The most heart breaking part for me is to hear she saying “There might not be Hari Raya for me next year”. She said that over and over. It was tough to listen to that…to me maybe because i knew Raya won’t be the same again if she’s not around. Yeah, there is a possibility that she might not be around anymire next year..but that possibility applies to anyone and everyone right? We don’t know when we are going to go….

I pray that Tok Mek still has a few more Rayas with us.

Looking at Tok Mek’s grieve on the lost of her husband at that relatively late age…i wonder whether the pain was greater for my mom to be a widow at 40.

Photo taken during Kak Ngah’s wedding. You can see my Tok Mek looked extremely sad at the back..and she was wearing all black. This was just exactly a week after Tok Ayah passed on.